Harry Potter and the Hangover Of The Phoenix
by Devil Fox
Summary: Just come in, and tell me if you like, young master... Rated for sexual suggestions.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter. I own a copy of the books, instead. J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter. Dobby wishes he did...  
  
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Hiya. I just wanted to see weather you people want me to do a Harry Potter fic. It will probably be poking fun at The Order of the Phoenix, so if you haven't read that yet, don't read this. Although, if you haven't read the 5th book yet, you are officially mad.  
  
Also, I know everybody out there HATES Professor Umbridge. And your meant to, so don't complain! She is a stuck up little b***h, so I'll be doing some nasty things to her. Also, I secretly think Voldemort is having an affair with Dumbledore, and that's why Dumbledore didn't finish him off. That thing about "and one can not live while the other survives..." was their cover up excuse.  
  
So, if you want to read a nice little fan-fiction, than seriously takes the p*** out of Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix, VOTE NOW!  
  
Place your votes as a review please, and by all means, give me some funny and inspirational ideas. I promise I'll give you full credit.  
  
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	2. It Begins

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER, OR ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS!!!  
  
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HARRY POTTER AND THE HANGOVER OF THE PHEONIX  
  
Harry Potter was no ordinary kid. No, he was a wizard. Yes, a wizard with a magic wand. And a pointy hat.  
  
"I do not have a pointy hat!"  
  
Ooopsy……… I forgot……… YOU CAN'T HEAR ME ANY MORE!  
  
"Okay." Harry went back to being all misunderstood and temperamental.   
  
There. As I was saying, he is no ordinary kid. He used to live in a cupboard under the stairs, but he cheated his way into getting a room. So basically, Harry is a wizard.  
  
Just then, Ron, Harry's ginger haired friend walked in.  
  
"Hi Harry, how are" He was suddenly cut off.   
  
"SHUT UP, TOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE!" The other boy roared. Ron just stared.  
  
"YOU DON'T KNOW THE PAIN I'VE SUFFERED! NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME, OR BELIEVES ME!" Ron yet again, just stared.  
  
"YOU SHOULD BOW DOWN TO ME! I KEEP SAVING THIS STUPID PLACE!"  
  
At that precise moment, Malfoy walked in, holding Hermione in his arms. She immediately said………  
  
"Did it ever occur to you that bad things only started to happen at Hogwarts, when you came? You're a walking disaster, no wonder people" She too was cut off. She joined Ron in staring.  
  
"Shut up! I'm a hero!" Harry was now rather upset. Mood swings were taking place, it was that time of month………  
  
"It says in Hogwarts: A History that" She retorted dumbly. Malfoy had the attention span of a retarded baby goldfish, and had forgotten why he was in the Gryffindor common room. He wandered off, not noticing Hermione in his arms.  
  
"OH, SHUT UP, HERMIONE! YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH THAT BLOODY BOOK!" Harry yelled to an empty room. There was no one left! How dare they leave, he was being misunderstood! "No one leaves while I'm being misunderstood………"  
  
Meanwhile, in Dumbledore's office,  
  
"Oh, Voldy! You're so cute! I love the whole snake-like appearance thing, where did you get it done?"  
  
"Oh, that………I got it done half price, my Death Eaters can be very persuasive. By the way, I think the long beard is really working for you."   
  
"Yes. Is the plot to take over the world going well, then?"  
  
"Oh, perfectly!"  
  
"Good, I'm really looking forward to seeing that kid die. What's his name?"  
  
"The one with the scar that almost killed me?"  
  
"Yes. I don't know what I'd have done if you died, love."  
  
"Dunno. Does he even have a name?"  
  
"Probably. But anyway, come here………"  
  
"Ooohhhh………"  
  
__________________________Line to separate stuff._________________________  
  
Did ya like it? You people seem to want this story to happen a lot, but I had this massive writers block. So I haven't written for about a month. Check out my X-Men story too, I'll update that tomorrow. 


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